Dispatch from the edge of recession: eight long months, and counting

I'm a real-life Hannah Horvath (from Girls), sans the dramatic friendships, awkward sexual relationships, and hopefully, without the terrible decision-making. I've got too much education and student loan debt, and not enough experience in anything to qualify me for any job. Oh, except retail -- Hannah's own post-liberal-arts-education job is as a pretty awful barista in a coffee shop. I work part time as a sales associate at Gap. As is the new game, I had an amazing full time job for ten weeks. It ends tomorrow, and I have no plan. I really really hoped, back in October when I began the seasonal gig, that by this time in the year, I would have found another opportunity and had something lined up for the New Year. I have my job at Gap; don't get me wrong, I am thankful for that.

This week, I've gotten two notices on jobs I've more than qualified for, that they are moving ahead with another candidate. Three weeks ago, I inadvertently turned down a job offer by honestly responding in a phone call that I could not leave my current job with only three-days' notice. By the time I called back a few hours later, to see if there was any way we could make arrangements due to a two-week overlap in work, I was told they had already moved ahead with another candidate. Another candidate, someone else, someone clearly better for this job. Don't worry, there are other opportunities. Let me know how I can help. 

I'm tired of false promises, and I'm filled with regret over graduate school. What was the point of training myself for a career field that has absolutely no job opportunities  while I could have gone straight into the work force and at least got some actual work experience? Now I'm stuck with a master's degree, but everyone wants that plus years of other accolades and experience. And I don't have what the hiring managers see as real-world real-work skills to even be an editor, or marketing or PR manager for a company. More and more I doubt the choice I made back in the summer of 2010, even though yes, the job market for new grads then was possibly even worse than now. But when you're down and out, you doubt and wonder.

I've been applying to jobs in earnest since January 1, 2012 -- a full year of exhausting, depressing job searching. Being on this side of things, I have so much sympathy for those who have been out of work for many months and years, because I understand how absolutely disheartening it is to hear rejection after rejection, if we hear anything at all. It's enough to make you throw in the towel and sit depressed on the couch. I honestly never, in a million years, saw myself as the graduate who would be in this position. I've always had multiple part-time jobs and worked hard for good grades in college. If there were idiots and slackers all around me, I was in the ten percent who was not. But it looks like I am still not out of the rough post-graduate phase.

I am not under any illusions: I don't expect to be in charge, have my "dream job" or be a shoe-in for a position. I just want an interview, a chance to prove my skills and articulate my passion. And I just want a job that remotely relates to my career field (seriously, I could argue almost any kind of work) for a pay rate slightly above the poverty rate. I would like to be above the poverty level in 2013. I've been out of school now for eight long, confusing, disheartening, scary, real months. And counting. Floating between part-time, contract stints, full-time temporary.